Romance and Pranks and Akatsuki, Oh My
by OsuwariKawaii
Summary: I have to room with five jerks. Have to prank with my friend Kayla and the biggest jerk, and Orochimaru in the equation? Too much to handle! But... I can't shake off the feeling to leave. Gah! T for obvious reasons. Several NTAS references.  Later though
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so, let's tone it down a bit... or a lot, from high school, and let's go to ninth grade! Whoot! Yeah, in this story, ninth is in Junior High.**

**Disclaimer: I swear to Naruto I don't own God! Wait, that came out wrong. I swear to Jashin I don't own Naruto! That's better.**

**:D**

I lay in my dorm. A group of five other beds beside mine were lined against the giant wall. A total of six beds. I was the only one occupying the room. That is, until I heard the lock on the door click and in came five males.

They bombarded in, lugging duffel bags. I shot up, almost frightened that they came in so suddenly.

"Do you need any help settling in?" I asked, noticing how they were throwing their belongings on their claimed beds. I set the book I was reading down and went over to them, sighing.

I started folding the clothes and putting them neatly in the compartments under the beds, setting their shower and toiletries in the bathroom. When I looked at them fully, I saw that they were... kind of attractive. And it's not every day that a girl has to room with five guys.

One of them had red hair, and mahogany brown eyes. He was the shortest. The one next to him was a blond, his bangs covering his left eye, the showing one was an ice blue. Part of his hair was pulled back into a pony tail. The next had silver hair gelled back, and magenta eyes. A religious penant dangled from his neck, resting on his partially-exposed chest.

The one next to him had raven hair, his bangs siding his face and the rest pulled back in a messy pony tail. Also, those bags around his nose made him resemble a weasel. The last one, had orange hair. Piercings along each side of his nose, under his lower lip, in his ears, every imaginable spot. His eyes seemed to have... rings around them.

An akward silence hung in the air before the silver haired one got a weird smile on his face and yelled, "HELL YES, WE GET TO ROOM WITH A FUCKING GIRL!"

The one with the piercings sighed and looked down, rubbing his temples. "Shut up, Hidan," he said.

"Fuck you, Pein!" Hidan shouted back. I was starting to get angry.

"Can it will you, hm?" the blond seethed.

"I swear, I will fucking sacrifice all of you mother fuckers to Jashin, you just-" Hidan began. I cut him off.

"If you don't shut your damned mouth, I will fucking make you talk soprano for a week!" I threatened. Pein, Hidan, Hm Boy, red head, and Weasel Boy all looked at me (I didn't know their names! You have to compromise with that stuff). Hm Boy was the first to laugh. Hidan looked terrified as he subconsciously moved his hands over his package as a protective barrier.

"Bitch!" he retorted. I looked at him in mock insult.

"I would be mad, but I've been there, done that, have a nice day." He jumped at me, but I lifted my leg, and his jewels made contact with my foot.

"_FUCKING SHIT~!_" he said, voice higher than usual.

"Holy hell! That girl just made Hidan go through puberty backwards!" laughed Hm Boy.

"I prefer Yumi, thanks. And you are...?" I asked.

"Sasori," the red head said. (Hey, that rhymed!)

"Itachi Uchiha," Weasel Boy said. Wait... Oh damn. If it isn't irony, I don't know what is.

"Deidara," Hm Boy introduced.

"And I already know Pein and Hidan," I said, saving the the trouble. They nodded.

I fell back on my bed, opening my book. Time passed and the expensive TV/computer with _Skype _turned on and the woman from the cafeteria was on the screen, asking us what we wanted for dinner. Yeah, our school just worked like that. Making us lazy.

"Good evening, Miss Yumi," she greeted warmly. I returned the kindness with a warm smile and a polite nod.

"Good evening to you as well, Caroline," I replied. She smiled, her white teeth showing.

"What do you want for dinner tonight?" she asked. I ordered Miso ramen for me (it sounds like I'm Naruto, but honestly, I just felt like having ramen), and thought about what the rest of my roomies wanted.

"Caroline, can I order more food for my room mates?" I asked. She nodded. "Then I guess they would want spare ribs, grilled fish, Bakudan ramen, onigiri with seaweed, and another order of Miso."

Caroline nodded and the screen went black. Deidara walked in. I looked at him then nearly fell off my bed. It may seem weird, but if you saw him in boxers, you'd probably react the same too. Think if you were in my position.

"What was that, hm?" he asked.

"I ordered everyone food. Hope you like Bakudan," I said, getting up and heading to the bathroom to shower. First I knocked, not wanting to walk in one of my roomates while they're nude. No one responded, so I walked in.

_(A/N I picked something at random for Sasori, because he doesn't need food, and I was picking their favorite food.)_

After I got in, my spine tingled, like someone was watching me. As soon as I felt cold air, my fist flew out and hit someone's nose. I turned to look at who it was. It was Deidara, surprise, surprise. (Note sarcasm, please)

"Shit that hurt, hm!" he yelped, clutching his nose, blood trickling from his nasal cavity.

"_PERVERT!_" I screeched, my face turning deep red. He re-closed the door and retreated to the room.

By the time I got out of the shower and put on underwear (I see you, man in the back who lives in his mother's basement, yes you, quit laughing) and an over-sized t-shirt that worked as a dress- it came down to my knees- the food had arrived.

Everyone but Sasori and I were staring at the bowls and plates. Well, Itachi more or less looked excited. Sasori looked pleased that I ordered it for them without knowing.

About that time, the door flew open, and before I could turn around, I, Yumi Tarizu, have been literally been glomped. I looked at who it was. But, unfortunately, Deidara was right in front of me.

"Urgh... Yumi sandwich..." I grunted. I looked up at the rest of the guys. "A little help, please?"

Pein sighed. "Tobi, get off of Yumi before you kill her. We also don't want to lose Deidara either."

The weight on my back lifted, and I rolled off of Deidara, air returning to my lungs. Deidara also wheezed.

"Need help up?" someone asked. It was... wait a minute.

"_Kakuzu?_" I asked, grabbing their hand and pulling myself up, then releasing their hand. He nodded, and I couldn't help but hug him.

"What the hell are you doing?" the scrooge demanded.

"It's called a hug. You should try it some time."

And thus, I released the scrooge, enraging Hidan, who just walked in. Oh Kami.

"Hey bitch, where's my fucking hug?" he demanded. I sighed and opened my arms. Today, I had been glomped twice.

The only good thing about it is that I landed partially on a bed. Ha, take that!

"You said _hug_, not _tackle_," I said.

"Same fucking thing, a hugs're just for pu**ies!" he shouted. (that was starred out for your protection. If you feel 'Puppies' goes there, by all means, put puppies.)

I just looked at him, trying to worm my way out of his vice hug, failing miserably. I kept repeating 'You can let go of me now' but he still held on to me. And it hadn't occurred to me that he was slowly inching me up onto the bed of which the inhabitant of it was unknown. Was he trying to...?

"Aw man, Hidan's gonna try to rape our roomie, hm!" Deidara whined. My leg went up.

"_Laaaa~!_" Hidan sang, falling off of me, again, clutching his probably-broken cashews and protecting them from further harm.

"No babies for chu," I said in a childish voice, scooting off the bed and getting my ramen, sitting in the corner I usually eat in (don't ask. Please, don't ask).

After I inhaled it, I was not surrounded by Pein, Tobi, Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, Kakuzu, Itachi, a person named Kisame, and Zetsu (who scared the living hell out of me). I just looked at them.

"Yumi, you initiation test begins now," Pein said, in a very god-like manner.

"Initiation test? What the hell are you talking about?" I demanded. Pein looked at Sasori, Tobi, and Kisame. They had rope and duct tape. In a minute, I was now a bound and gagged human worm.

This can't be good.

**Please review!**

**Oh, and today I went to the dentist, and I saw the Jashin symbol on a building! I don't remember which building, but there it was. The manga Jashin symbol! Okay, enough rambling. Click the whatever color button and review!**


	2. Stairs, Bunnies, and Lysol

**Here's another chapter. Today shall be (hopefully) epicness. So ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: ***looks back through certains* Do I really have to do this? *waits then sighs* I don't own Naruto. Call the press! Now enjoy what I typed!

I had been wormed. Black duct tape plastered on my lips, and rope binding my limbs together. I didn't remember how long I had been carried by them, and I didn't know who was carrying me, because I was blindfolded.

I squirmed, then remembered everything I knew with my experience with band-aids. When the adhesive becomes wet, it doesn't stick as well, and is easily peeled off. So, if I use that, then I could at least get this tape off.

I opened my mouth the best I could, and licked the adhesive, then purposefully salvitated, feeling it come loose. And I can reach my head to my shoulder, so I can remove the cloth around my eyes! ...I seriously need to get out more often.

With one last poke of my tounge, I was rid of the tape. I then rubbed my nose against my shoulder, making it seem I was scratching it, but I slid my head so my shoulder went up the bridge of my nose, then lifting the blindfold.

I saw Sasori, who was looking at me with surprise. He opened his mouth, but I gained the strength to lift my legs and kick him in the face.

"Falcon... _kick!_" I declared as my feet hit him. Tobi ran to him, making sure he was okay. Wiggling more, I got free of Kisame's iron grip. Then, I did a _barrel roll _down the hall, momentarily forgetting about the stairs.

After my tumble down the Evil Staircase of Pain and Doom, I managed to get on my feet, hopping away.

Footsteps swiftly followed behind, making me hop that much faster. The ropes were loosening around my legs, allowing more freedom.

I got several looks from surrounding students, especially the seventh graders. The girls were snickering and the guys just stared at me. I thought I was going pretty good, until I was tackled.

They thought they had me, but I felt where the legs started, then kicked in that same spot. Yumi: Almighty Dick Kicker of Freedom. I was free, so I wormed away, then rolled again.

**I now hate stairs**

The ropes are loosening! I repeat, he ropes are loosening! I can now run at full pace!

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, _shit!_" I shouted, seeing that Hidan was in front of me, waiting for me to come running into him.

**Have I ever mentioned that these floors are slick?**

I then rolled, or... tripped and fell on my ass. Then slid, knocking Hidan down but on me, almost like a dog pile. I groaned, having my head hit the tile floor twice today.

"I fucking got the bitch!" he shouted in pride.

"That is where you are wrong," I pointed out. He looked down at me. "Technically, I was the one who got you-"

"But look who's toping, bitch!" he retorted, cutting me off. That sounded wrong on so many levels.

"I'm not your Uke, fucker!" I screamed.

"You're fucking insane," he pointed out. "You're full of fucking madness."

_(A/N I know what you're thinking. And yes, it's going to happen.)_

"Madness? No! This. Is. _SPARTA!" _I declared, rocking forward and headbutting him. He lost his balance and I rolled right, got up, and the chasing began.

**Ever accidentally face-palmed, only the palm wasn't your own?**

Indeed, after about five minutes of chasing, I had rammed my face into Peins hand.

After flying backwards a few feet, like he used some _almighty push_ or something, I glared at him.

"You did well evading my members and escaping, so he first part of your initation test has been passed," he said, that god-like voice booming again. I wiggled out of the ropes and stood up, glaring at him. There's mad, then there's ticked, then there's pissed, then enraged.

But with Yumi, there's mad, pissed, and scary angry. I was between pissed and scary angry.

"This was only part of the test...?"

"Yes. The second part of the test is something we will go over in the morning."

Shit, I hate waiting.

**Let sleeping Yumi's sleep!**

Something was tugging at my arm, but I pulled my arm back and snuggled deep in the blanket, enjoying my sleep. I heard murmering, but was too tired to care.

_Third-person Point of Veiw_

Itachi tugged on the sleeping girl's arm, but she pulled it back in defiance. Sighing, he turned to his leader.

"She's out like a light," he whispered. Pein nodded, then turned to Hidan.

"Hidan, do you know what to do?" he asked in a murmer. Excited, the Jashinist nodded, then quietly moved into the bed with Yumi, under the blanket and all. Smirking to himself, he wrapped his arm around her waist.

_Yumi Point of View_

Warmth suddenly wrapped itself around me, inducing more sleep. I curled up more. "Mm, warm," I said. The heat source stiffened against my back, but quickly relaxed. I turned, almost nuzzling my face in the near-squishyness. If that's a word. Leave my sleep vocabulary alone!

**Why must perverted attractive guys be so damn warm?**

My eyes cracked open, seeing nearly bare chest. Then I saw a religious pendant, then smug and embarrassed purple eyes, then blushed cheeks, then slicked back silver hair.

Instead of spazzing out and shoving him off and kicking him in the nuts like usual, I smiled widely and hugged him.

"I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine, and he shall be my Squishy!" I chanted, quoting the words of Dory from Finding Nemo.

"Get the fuck off me!" he commanded. I looked at him in mock hurt, pouting.

"B-but Hidaaaan~! You were the one in my bed with me in the first plaaace~!" I whined. He glared at me, but then looked away, cheeks deepening. I knew I had won.

"Damn girls and their fucking faces," he cursed. Smiling once more, I nuzzled my face into his chest.

"_SQUISHY!_" I shouted once more, throwing us off of my bed and landing on him. After I crawled off of him, I looked at the guys. In the second day I have known him, I saw Itachi Uchiha smiling! That's right! _Smiling, bitches!_

From what I heard from Sasuke, Itachi never smiles. Never. Must I spell it? N-E-V-E-R. Never.

I pointed at him. "Ah-ha! So the emotionless Itachi can smile! Victory is mine!"

The smile grew bigger, and I got scared. And yes, it was called 'The smile'. It's just that important.

In a flash, I was on he floor, my wrists pinned to the carpet above my head by his left hand, the other supporting himself up. My legs were spread, his in the push-up drill position. His head lowered to my ear, The Smile growing oh so widely.

"Who is victorious now?" he whispered menacingly. A shiver went down my spine. Then I smirked.

"Stop mocking me," I whispered back, thus quoting Stewie. I caught his two legs between my knees and shins and flipped, then stood back up. This is sexual harrassment!

"Nice, nice," Itachi said plainly. I turned to Deidara, Sasori, and Pein. Deidara was slowly backing away. Sasori stared blankly ahead, and Pein was... walking... this... way. I backed away, but bumped into Hidan and Itachi. I glared at them.

"Fuck all of you and your tallness," I complained, crossing my arms.

Hidan smiled sadistically. "I would, but I would need some help with that."

"Eep!" I squeaked, retreating behind Sasori. He side stepped, so I went behind Deidara.

**I apparently room with a bunch of assholes.**

I was tied up again, only like, cheesey movies where you get tied in the closet or something. And yes, I was tied to my computer chair.

Pein looked at me, his ringed eyes creeping me out.

"Yumi, the second stage of your initation test begins now," he announced. I raised an eyebrow.

"Which is...?"

"You must pull a prank with someone else, on all of the teachers in ninth grade, the entire principal's office in addition, in two weeks."

"By myself?"

"Itachi and Hidan will accompany you. Itachi will know how to set it up, and Hidan will be there to help give you ideas."

My head went ragdoll at the moment he mentioned that Itachi and Hidan would help me.

Thank you for Saturdays.

I was untied and ran a brush through my hair, not bothering with the normal foundation of blush and mascara, making me look paler. I slipped on a pair of flip-flops, and out the door I went.

Itachi and Hidan were following me, one on either side.

"Hi-_yah!_"

**Hidan, you've just got owned by a girl wearing pink bunny slippers.**

Hidan had just been _Spartan kicked _down the stairs. And the girl who kicked him, she was wearing pink fluffy bunny slippers.

I burst out laughing, leaning against the wall for support. Itachi gave the less creepy smile I had made him show earlier this morning.

"That- was- so- _ninja_!" I said between laughs. I was now falling on my side, struggling to breathe. The girl smiled proudly, wiggling her toes and making the bunnies move.

Bunnies of Imminent Doom: 1

Hidan: 0

"Er... is she okay?" she said, pointing to me. Hidan had resurfaced from the stair case, noticing how I wasn't moving. It took me a while to realize I wasn't breathing. Breath would not come.

After a bit of struggle, I still couldn't figure out a way to breathe. Hidan was in a hurry to flip me on my back and leaned over me. Closer, closer, now he's invading my bubble. Stop bein a bubble-invader, damn you!

His mouth was hovering over my forced open one. Breath returned, and I was thinking about spiting in his mouth, when I closed it and again, headbutted him.

Does it still count if my forehead hits his cheek? Well then, forget boot to the face, we got head to the cheek! ... It fails.

I kinda felt bad for Hidan. I'll _**try**_ to be nicer to him, but no promises.

I stood (after Hidan got off of me first) and smiled at the Ninja Bunny Slipper trainer. "Sorry about that," I said, blushing a bit of embarassment.

"Naw, it's okay. It's not the first time I've taken someone down with my bunnies," she said, laughing. She smiled.

Her blond hair hung loosely around her shoulders, waves texturizing it (stop critisizing my damn vocabulary!). Her ice blue eyes were warm and kind, her cheek bones blazing pink. She wore a dark green v-neck short-sleeved shirt, and orange freckles dotted the bridge of her nose.

"I'm Yumi," I greeted. Then I shuffled slightly closer to her and whispered, "And the idiot you sent flying is one of my room mates."

She giggled. "I wouldn't mind it," she teased. I rolled my eyes. Obviously, she didn't understand having to room with five guys.

"Trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be," I promised. She laughed more.

"Anyways, I'm Kayla," Kayla introduced.

I looked around. "Hey, I'm trying to pass an initation test so I can apparently be part of the 'Akatsuki' and I need to pull pranks on all of the ninth grade teachers and then the office. So, care to help?"

She nodded eagerly then leapt at me, glomping me for the third time in a week. "Yes! This'll be hella' fun!"

"Let's go!" I said, rushing to anatomy to start planning. I searched through Jiraiya's desk, finding porn magazines, some sort of tool that I was sure he masturbated with, a picture of Tsunade, and porn movies. I got an idea.

"What'd you find?" Hidan asked. I looked at him, a smirk dancing across my lips.

"Hidan, I need you to get me a sharpie, and a VCR tape of: Toy Story, Lion King, Cinderella, and Finding Nemo," I ordered. He looked at me and I gave him a '_Just do it_' look. He obeyed and quickly left to the library.

"What do you need me to do?" Kayla asked.

"Kayla, we need a screwdriver, a hammer, and a wash rag!" I said excitedly. She nodded and left.

_Epic time lapse _(use your imagination, okay?)

I was now tranferring the films onto the porn ones. Thankfully, the original film stayed on the cassettes.

After that, I grabbed the king size Sharpie and started going through Jiraiya's magazines, marking a censor bar through the 'private areas' as we were taught in fourth grade.

Now, was the Masturbo-majig to deal with. Somehow, Itachi knew a great deal in machinery and knew how it worked, so he worked with that. I looked around the room, posters of female anatomy hanging about. I got my Sharpie and marked through the chestal and lower reigons.

Foot steps came down the hall. I tensed.

Closer, closer, they stopped.

"_Ffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!"_ I mouthed.

"_Hide, but do it silently,_" Itachi mouthed back, gently setting the Masturbo-majig in the drawer, same as all of the stuff we found in there.

Itachi crawled under the desk. Hidan took under the sink. Kayla took in an empty cabinet, and where'd that leave me? On the opposite side of under the sink with Hidan.

Keys jiggled and the door opened. I held my breath. I looked at Hidan, panicked. He looked back, face mirroring mine. I didn't blame him, honstly. It was his second day here, and he was already on the edge of getting caught doing something.

The footsteps walked over to the sink. A shadow loomed over the crack in the doors. I tried to flatten myself as flat as paper, it was no good.

"_Hidan, we may have to kick ass today,"_ I mouthed. He nodded. A hand gripped the handle.

"_Let's kick some ass,_" he mouthed back. My heart sped up, and I was sure they could hear it. I grabbed a bottle of Lysol and gripped it, index finger laying lightly and readily on the arrow to spray. Hidan grabbed Windex.

The door swung open and I leapt out, pinning the perpatrator to the tile floor, Lysol in the air ready to strike. I looked at who it was and hit them in the head with the can of Lysol.

"I fucking hate you," I said, nearly having a heart attack.

"What can I say? Pein told me to see how you were doing, hm," the blond said.

"Fucker..." I said weakly, letting my heartbeat regulate. Deidara laughed. Itachi surfaced from the desk, Kayla poking out of the cabinet.

"Everything clear?" Itachi asked in monotone. Deidara turned from sly to pissed.

"Damn Uchihas, hm!" he cursed. "Thinking they're so cool and insulting _real _art, hm!"

Ignoring Deidara's little thing, I looked at Itachi. "Did you finish screwing with the thing in Jiraiya's desk?"

"Yes, and I set it back in," he said, showing me the tools. I hurried and grabbed them, tossing them next to the cadaver, which the class thought it would be hilarious to name Pablo. Whatever reason is beyond me.

"On to the next one?" Hidan asked, smirking. I nodded, cleaning up the room and turning off the light, and leaving, locking to door as well.

"Let's go prank us some bitches!" I said, even more pumped that we were getting a move on.

_Third-person Point of Veiw_

**In the creeper-lab**

A man watched the screen as a group of teenagers messed around with stuff in his old friend/new enemy's class room. The had just left, showing virtually no evidence of anything.

"I give them credit," he said to himself, a sadistic grin dancing across his pale lips. "They cleaned up after themselves quite well."

"Sir, what should we do about _them_?" his underling asked. The man just kept smiling and looked back to the screen.

"In due time, Kabuto. In due time."

**Please review! I don't own anything... except a lot.**

**Okay, sorry to all you Oro and Kabuto fans, but we need a bad guy!**

**And, Kayla belongs to miragechick2, so ask her if you want to use her in your stories! Or she will find you.**

**Also! Death threats for upcoming chapters, though this isn't necessarily a popular story. Best one(s) will be used.**

**NOW REVIEW!**


	3. Glomps Save Lives!

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. End of argument.**

**Note: This is a retype, so if it sucks, then forget you.**

**a.a**

So, I along with Kayla and company moved down the halls stealthily, heading to geometry.

We stopped at the space between the mens' and womens' bathroom, planning what we need to do for a prank.

"Kakashi always comes in late, so there should be punishment. I say we put a wireless trigger in his book and get water to fall from the ceiling panel, then chalk dust to blow in his face." I said. I looked around to receive everyone's opinions, but then something wrapped its arms around my waist and pulled me into the mens' bathroom.

It was steamy, and the floor was flooded. Each step I made let out a splash, giving away my location.

There was a click, most likely from a door, then banging in that same direction.

All I could see was steam, and faint figures moving around. One... two? Yes, there were two.

"_Bastard! Let us the fuck in!_" Hidan's enraged and muffled voice shouted, followed by more hitting.

"No, Hidan. This doesn't concern you." I said, getting into a ninja fighting position I've seen on shows. Leave me alone! I admire ninja's! Anyways, I found it odd that they hadn't pulled anyone else in besides me.

"Oh, what a pity," a sadistic, twisted, and cold voice taunted. I looked around. "I was hoping you'd shout and scream for someone to help you, but I guess you wish to die alone."

"What did you say...?" I asked, glaring at the direction of _his_ voice.

"Come now, we can't have you running around with the Akatsuki, for you don't know what cruel and vile things they've been known to do," another voice chimed in. I turned my head to stare in their direction, not believing what he was saying. My imagination kicked in, and I was engulfed in my own thoughts.

"You're wrong, the Akatsuki would never do things the rumors say!" I defended, becoming more enraged.

"Why be in denial, when you yourself believed them?" the second voice taunted further.

"Don't listen to him, Yumi!" Itachi called. The voice continued, ignoring the Uchiha's command. More banging followed.

"About how they once all went to court for strangling and then drowning a poor innocent child, then the Uchiha's daddy had to bail them out," he continued. A growl escaped my throat.

"You shut up!" I shouted, starting to run in that direction. A splash, then a foot hit my gut. I staggered back, clutching my stomach. "You don't know anything."

"Stop protecting that group of criminals, and join us with our experiments." the cold voice said.

"Like hell I will!" I croaked, running at them again. My eyes were closed, for it was useless. A splash to the left, I went a yard left. Another one right, I jumped right, knocking into them.

"Bitch!" the one that taunted me shouted. The other one came behind me and delivered a kick to my spine, making my body shoot into a wall.

I landed in the water, my shirt now soaked and my flip-flops lost.

I saw light, and no, I didn't die. It was a window!

Scrambling to get up, I stretched my arm out towards the window, before unlocking and opening it. The steam rushed out, letting the room clear up. I could see clearly before me, the eighth grade biology/chemistry teacher Orochimaru, and the seventh grade health teacher Kabuto.

I didn't have any time to react before Kabuto appeared in front of me, his arm raised which snapped forward, hitting me in the face. Orochimaru was behind me, gripping my arms to stop movement. Okay, Yumi. This is the end of the battle, the climax of the moment. Time to knock him out with a catch phrase and a move to go with it.

"_You should have had a V8_!" I declared, making my forehead make contact with his. The skin stretched too far and began to bleed, leaving a mark on his head, and mine. Then, I threw my head back, knocking the back of my head into Orochimaru's nose.

Unfortunately, Kabuto and Orochimaru lived through the blows, deeming my random phrase and knockout duo a failure. He then aimed to deliver another hit to my face, the right cheek to be exact. Of course, with my movements restrained, he made contact, _hard._

After five minutes of being hit and my ears ringing from all the banging on the door...

_**BPHOOM!**_

The door was kicked down and Hidan barged in. Pissed as all hell. He noticed Kabuto hitting me around, and he swiftly ran to him, socking him in the nose and sending him into a stall. I looked at him, concern painting his whole face, his oddly colored eyes enraged.

He turned to Orochimaru, then leapt at him, fists pulled back. I just stared at his violent behaviour, trying to get farther away from him. Fear started to build up in my stomach, my instinct telling me to get away.

They were in the middle of the room, exchanging blows to the face. That served him right...

**But I couldn't let him just hit them, and make what Kabuto said true.**

Putting my hair behind my ears, I thought of the only thing to make him normal- as normal as you get with Hidan.

I started running towards him, leaping once I was three feet away from him.

I glomped him.

Orochimaru flew in some direction, at the exact moment that Hidan slipped and lost his footing. He landed on the soaked tile, with me directly on top of him.

"Wha-?" he said, snapping back to reality. Note to self, glomps save people.

"Phew," I sighed, again snuggling into his chest, but in relief.

"Uh, this scene is cute and all, but we better go before Tsunade finds out about this," Kayla said. I nodded and got up, helping the Jashinist up as well. We left swiftly, Hidan and I in our semi-soaked glory, as well as my bare footed-ness. I decided to leave my discarded shoes behind, I have a few more pairs anyways.

"I think that's enough for today," I suggested. Itachi nodded and we headed up to our dorms, Kayla tagging along. But not after she moved the unconscious bodies of Orochimaru and Kabuto to a stall, making it seem they slipped. Though I knew that it'd take an idiot to not figure out what happened with the flooded floor and flipflops.

"Fuck that scared me," Hidan said. Silence prodded further.

"My head hurts," I said, trying to get someone to laugh and break this silence. Nothing but a growl.

"No shit, Sherlock." Was all that was said when we entered my dorm. Er, shall I say, _our _dorm.

Once we entered, the talking stopped. All eyes turned to me and Hidan and our wet clothing.

"Hidan, what. The. Fuck. _Happened_, hm?" Deidara asked.

"Orochimaru and his _whore_ Kabuto fucking _kidnapped_ Yumi and locked themselves in the guys' bathroom, where the floor was already flooded and _I_ saved her ass!" he shouted. They turned to me after Hidan was done speaking. I nodded to confirm his statement.

That's when I realized, they weren't looking at me for confirmation. No, they were looking at my battle scars. The most-likely bruised cheek and bloody forehead.

Alright. So they're not really battle scars, but a girl can pretend, right?

I met all of their eyes, and then watched as they all looked around at each other. Except, when they did, they locked eyes. Confirming one another's thoughts.

I was sitting front row for a war between a supposed pedophile and a gang of very angry teenagers to begin. Maybe sitting front row wasn't exactly right. Its more like, being picked up and_ thrown _into the front lines of the war. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention; a secret ninja and a sensei to two pink ninja bunnies.

Yes, and I'm secretly a fucking ninja (in my dreams). Like I said, a girl can pretend!

**Sorry for shortness, and REVIEW!**

**And... DEATH THREATS!**

**This is a chapter edited by ErinEhmazing. She's kinda like my un-official beta. You get the point.  
**


	4. Too Much Damn Water!

**Hello again!**

**Hey, I'm not feeling too well. A friend of mine is pissed at me and now I'm just... depressed. So now I'm writing this to try and cheer me up a bit...**

**This story needs puplicity, because I am like that and hate having few reviews for my stories!**

**Disclaimer: **Do I look like Kami- I mean Masashi Kishimoto to you? No? The that's your answer to if I own Naruto!

Kayla and I just stared at the now-planning teenagers. "Actually, I think they all need to take a turn and kick Orochimaru and his little sidekick in the balls with steel-toed boots lit on fire," I whispered to the blond. She laughed.

"I agree!" she whisper-yelled back.

An idea just came to me then. Kayla then looked at me in confusion. Holding my finger up as if pointing something out, I got the attention of the pissed teens.

"Alright, bitches, listen up!" I called to them. All eyes turned to me. I felt in power, because I just did! Ha! Nothing needs reason when ideas come to you.

"Did she call us bitches?" Kisame asked.

"Damn right I did! Now listen up, or all of you won't be having babies in your future!" That got their attention pretty quick. Hidan placed his hands over his family jewels, knowing what I meant. "Kisame and Itachi, I need the two of you to go to my friend Reyna's dorm and get fifteen canisters of Play-Doh of any color. Hidan and Kakuzu, secure Orochimaru's lab until we get everything up and ready. If anyone aska you what you're doing, say you lost something valuable."

"Deidara, I need you and Sasori to stay with me to help conduct an experiment. Kayla, help 'Tachi and 'Same carry the Play-Doh here." She blushed quite madly. Turning to the crowd, that left Tobi, Zetsu, and Pein. "Zetsu, watch the hallways. Pein, keep everyone a tad bit sane. And Tobi, use your innocence to save our asses if it is needed."

Everyone gave me a 'What the hell are you on' look. But then Pein turned toward his group and announced that they were to follow orders. Kick ass.

"When are we putting this plan into action?" Kakuzu asked. A vicious smirk danced across both Hidan and my mouths.

"_Tonight, mother fuckers!_" we both declared in unison.

**Cuddle time! Oh, but after I change my clothes!... In the bathroom... pervs.**

I had grabbed a bundle of clothes and headed to the bathroom, changing my clothing from the soaked long shirt to loose, black spandex (Not Might Guy tight) pants, underarmor tanktop, and sweat shirt. I walked out and sat in between Hidan and Deidara.

Then, the room turned cold as _dry ice._ Okay, maybe that was a metaphor, but it was fucking _cold._

"Th-the fuck?" Hidan stuttered, his teeth clicking together. I noticed that he was- as most of the time- shirtless. Sighing, I tugged off my sweat shirt and threw it at him. As soon as the cold air hit my arms, I got into the tornado drill postition and hugged my arms.

"_F-f-fuck!_" I seethed.

Then, Kayla came up with the easiest and simplest way to end out cold problems. "Cuddle time!" she shouted. Soon, I was Yumi Sandwhich'd again, but this time, Hidan was there instead of Tobi.

Kayla then hugged me, then Tobi. Zetsu hugged Tobi reluctantly, Sasori and Kisame squeezed in. Itachi hugged Kayla, causing her to blush again. Kakuzu groaned, then I growled at him and told him to get his cheap ass in the huddle circle.

_**Pshhhhh**_

_**Click**_

We were locked in, with water rushing and soon to come in here. Bravely, I stood from the group and weaved between everyone. They made way, then someone followed. It was Kayla.

"Are you shitting me? They changed the door to an iron one!" Kayla shouted. I then, with all my strength, rammed myself into the cold door. Well, that didn't work.

"When all fails, try, try again! But if that doesn't work, _get the crowbar!_" I said, quoting myself.

Sasori and Deidara joined, and all four of us- Kayla, Deidara, Sasori, and me- rammed our full weights into the slab of evil iron.

It resulted in Kayla and I bouncing off of it and sending Sasori and Deidara back. Next to help out were Zetsu and Tobi.

Second verse, same as the first!

Water was spilling from the crack where the door didn't hit the floor. Then I got another idea.

"This isn't working," groaned Sasori impatiently.

"Boys, get ready to be cheerleaders for about two minutes!" I commanded. I then found myself on the shoulders of Kisame the Skyscraper (because he's freakin' tall) and Pein, Tobi, Zetsu, and Kakuzu as support if I fell.

Okay, so the plan is for me to travel from the ceiling. Enter from the outside, crawl, then drop into the bathroom and turn off the water.

I moved the panel, and hopped in. I went forward five panels and listened beneath. The sound was getting a bit louder. One more panel and I removed it, dropping into the water.

**Who the hell turned our bathroom into their pool?**

Indeed, I landed in waist-deep water, resulting in a very painful belly flop. I recovered after shouting quite a few profanities and turned off all plumbing. But, now I was stuck in here with water, and a possible flood.

"How's it going in there?" Pein's voice bellowed from the door.

"Well Pein," I said in my best weather forecaster voice, "once this door is opened, waist deep water will be poured into the room, resulting in flood. We might need another person with a bucket in here so we can put this down the drain in the shower. Back to you!"

Murmuring and I started profanitizing (my word for shouting swears at something) the shower because it was a freakin' tall bath/shower.

_**KERSPLASH**_

In popped Kayla, doing a belly flop of her own, two buckets in her hands.

"Let's get this mess cleaned up, because Tobi's about to piss himself," Kayla told me. I laughed then got the bucket and did some heavy-duty bucketing.

"We need a third man in here!" I called.

Two minutes later, Kisame in his tall, blue glory, dropped in on his feet (which I profanitized in my mind that Kayla and I weren't that gracefull) with a bucket of his own, and we all went triple time.

We finally finished and wiped the floor with towels, and we all collapsed on the floor in exhaustion.

I willed myself to get up and unlock the door, then fell on my ass, then just layed down.

In bursted seven boys, all to see the three of us sprawled on the floor. In victory, I raised my bucket-holding hand. "We... did it..." was what I said before I pretty much passed out.

Guess Play-Doh has to be postponed.

**Please review to make me un-emo.**

**Please?**


	5. Bombs and a Jealous Hidan

**Hi all! I have a few things to announce and ask.**

**One: Should Yumi turn out to have a real name and just have used 'Yumi Tarizu' as a cover name?**

**Two: Should Yumi discover that she has her own 'inner' like Sakura Haruno?**

**Three: More of a warning. Nothing in the making of what is going to be made actually works! If it does, it's highly coincidental, because I don't want anyone to try it and blame me. Don't die, people.**

**Four: Um... yeah, that's it for now.**

**Five: Oh! I'm going to stop disclaiming, because lawyers don't scare me.**

**ENJOY!**

Well, as it turns out, the room stayed cold, and all three of us got sick (some more than others). Soon, all was hurrying to choke us with Tylonol, Advil, Ibuprophen, water, and trying to shove thermometers into our tounges.

This soon was getting annoying, and I refused to take the pills. Then, with an iron grip of Kakuzu, he wrenched my mouth open, dropped pills in, and made me swallow with water. I left the bed and wanted to kick them in the package, but my mucles protested, so I walked and sat on the computer desk.

"Alright, my lovelies~!" I shouted. Everyone gave me a 'What the fuck' look, and I ignored it, as I got it often. "Itachi, go to Reyna's room and get the damn Play-Doh!" I ordered. "Hidan, you go as back up! Kakuzu, scan the hallways. Tobi, same job. Kayla, rest, as with you, Kisame. Zetsu, help out Kakuzu. Deidara and Sasori, same jobs. Pein, keep people sane. Do it now!"

Everyone rushed to their jobs, and Pein walked over to me. "Mind telling me where you're going with this?" he asked.

"Nah, I'll let you figure it out," I taunted, the room suddenly whirling. My body swayed before I fell forward on the carpet. Strength left me.

"It's the fever," the carrot top muttered.

"But Kakuzu just forced-popped pills into my throat!" I complained.

"Yes, but they hadn't started working, idiot!" Sasori seethed. I gathered enough energy to flip him off.

"Fuck you, Pinocchio," I told him.

"Will you help?" he asked.

"Fuck off."

"Who's Off and where can I find them?"

"Off is your grandmother."

"Hey now that's just crossing the line!" He made a move for me, to be stopped by Deidara.

"Now, now, hm. Never assault a girl when she's down, hm!"

"I thought it was 'Never kick a man when he's down' but okay," I commented.

I was grabbed and lifted off the fuzzy carpet, and layed on my bed.

A thermometer was placed under my tounge for about a minute, then taken out.

"One-oh-five point two," he stated. I groaned, that was high. More pills. My stomach roared, demanding food.

There was a package of muffins, Little Debbie Zebra Cakes, strawberry Poptarts, and a Hostess Twinkie.

I just about raped them, Kisame and Kayla getting the same food.

I felt a helluva lot better, and was able to get my strength back. But, Ol' Blue was already up and about.

"Hey, Kisame?" I began sweetly, walking up to him once I had gotten up. He looked down at me, puzzled.

"Yeah?" he replied.

"How come you're so tall?" I asked. He burst out laughing.

"I'm not tall, you're just sho-" before he could finish his sentence...

_CRUNCH_

"Rule one of life, never mess with those smaller than you," I informed him. He was clutching his 'mini-Kisame' in pain. I then felt bad for him and hugged him.

"You're bipolar, or like Zetsu," Pein noted. I glared him.

"Don't ruin my moment, Magneto Man!" I growled, turning into a temporary demon. Then I turned into my loving self.

"Damn, hm. If only she was like that all the time," Deidara said to himself. I ignored it and continued hugging the Skyscraper.

The blue man's muscles tensed, then I was lightly pushed to Deidara. They all exchanged glances. Kayla and I were shifted to behind beds, hence there was no space between the floor and bed for us to crawl under.

"Orochimaru?" Kayla asked quietly. I listened closely to the floor.

_Thud, thud, thud,pat, clatter._

"_Shit, I dropped another one!_"

"No," I told her, standing up. "Guys, chill out! It's only Hida' and 'Tachi!"

All of them relaxed. But then Sasori looked at me. "How could you tell?" he demanded. I wagged my finger at him and giggled.

"I have my secrets," I teased. Kisame groaned.

"Tell us!" the tall one said. Then I took my turn to groan.

"These floors aren't very good for keeping sound in as far as the hallway goes. Anyone can listen to who goes down the halls merely by placing their ear against the dorm's floor and listening carefully. Hidan dropped a canister of Play-Doh and cursed before he picked it up, signaling that he is with Itachi as well, so they both got the necessary items they were sent to get," I explained.

"But you never heard Itachi's voice, hm," Deidara pointed out.

"Quite contrary," I said in my best British accent. "After Hidan cursed, Itachi sighed and continued, only for a canister to fall out of his own grip, then he gave a frustrated 'Hn', picked it up, then continued." I placed my ear back to the floor. "Itachi should enter right... now." And the door opened, Itachi waltzing in carrying seven cylinders of colorful Play-Doh. "Then Hidan is... here." Hidan rushed into the room, tripping and falling, releasing eight plastic cans of Play-Doh.

Pein flipped open a phone (where I called him a lucky bitch) and called everyone else and they soon came into attendance.

"Everyone," Pein began, claiming the attention of everyone. "Yumi has announced that we now have access to the halls from our very own rooms."

"Bullshit!" Hidan shouted.

"Yumi?" the orange head said. I nodded and walked forward a few steps.

"Hidan, did you drop a canister of the Play-Doh, then walk over to it, saying 'shit, I dropped another one'?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What the- yeah, I did. But how the fuck did you hear that?"

I stayed silent, but walked over to him. "Put your ear to the floor," I ordered him. He obeyed, then I whispered in Zetsu's ear, telling him to go into the hallway and whisper 'Do you hear me'. He nodded and stalked out the room.

After waiting, Hidan shot up. "Holy fuck that's creepy!" he proclaimed. He then turned to me. "So bitch, how does it work?"

"For the love of crackers and flowers, I don't want to repeat myself!" I snapped.

Silence hung in the air, letting my statement sink in. "Shall we do whatever it is needed?" Kakuzu finally asked, silence dispersing.

"Right!" I said. I pointed at the two 'artists'. "You two, look under the TV for Lysol." Deidara shuddered in rememberance of five hours ago. Thus, I called him a wuss and told him to get the fuck over it and get the damn Lysol. "Kisame, reach into the cabinet up there and get vinegar and baking soda."

"Pein, use my ramen bowl in the sink and rinse it out and bring it to me along with the Play-Doh." He obeyed. I started popping open all of the different colors and started squishing them together

Once I got eight down, I poured some baking soda in it until the gray-colored dough was now a powdery light gray.

After I added the rest of the Play-Doh, the Lysol was sprayed on the surface of the lump of disgusting looking clay for children.

"What is this supposed to do exactly, hm?" Deidara, the 'pyromaniac' of the group asked. I sighed.

"Deidara, being experienced with explosives, you should be able to tell," I sighed.

"No, I've never seen this kind of a bomb honestly, hm," he confessed.

"Ah, that, my friend, is true. I made this bomb when I was a kid, and I never forgot the 'recipe' of it since."

"Well, I do have experience with Play-Doh bombs, but none of the likes of these. I have gunpowder stashed in my bag to create my art, and I also know that Play-Doh, as with everything, explodes if you give it enough." Okay, that was just creepy.

"You're fifteen-"

"Sixteen," he corrected. I stared at him.

"I see. So that makes you the oldes-"

"Youngest, hm," he corrected again.

"Oh..." was all I was to hide my shock. "Get the gunpowder."

A few minutes later, black powder was displayed in a small flask. I wasn't even gonna ask how he got it in the school.

"How's this panning out?" Kayla brought up, breaking her silent streak.

"It'll be your average bomb, though it will also be different. After the fuse reaches the shell, a small explosion will go off within it, releasing vinegar, causing the baking soda to react, and in one last explosion, the shell explodes and he's got nasty Play-Doh all over his pale face," I explained.

Deidara was silent for a moment, then smiled. "That will be one of the most humorous art displays you can make with the resources we have."

I hit my first to my chest, proud. "Pretty genious, if I do say so my self!"

"So, how do we get it in there?" Kisame asked. I smiled evily.

"I have my ways," I chuckled.

"Yumi, you're scaring me," Kayla joked.

"Good, good. As long as I scare the shit out of people, none shall surpass me, not even Orochimaru."

All turned to stare at me.

"I think you need to seriously go to a doctor," Itachi suggested. I glared at him.

"No, you need to see Doctor Phil and a tan!" I retorted, feeling as if I had drank Red Bull.

All was silent. Then I turned my attention to the bomb.

_After setting the damn thing up_

We finally finished it, but I suddenly got silent.

"Yumi? What's wrong?" Kayla asked. I shook my head.

"I dunno. I guess I'm just nervous or something..." I told her. She hooked her arm around my neck and pointed to an invisable object.

"Don't worry, fellow comrade! We shall kick Pedo-Creeper Snake's ass, and his little bitch too!" she proclaimed. I laughed, feeling a bit better.

"Kayla, Orochimaru might be after you too, so stay in our dorm until this whole mess is through," I said. Kayla cocked her head.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because, eleven against two makes for a helluva lot chance intead of one against two," I explained.

She nodded eagerly, glancing in the direction of Itachi, blushing slightly. I nudged her gut with my elbow. "And I can probably get you and Itachi to share a bed," I teased. She freaked out and almost tackled me. "Yo, 'Tachi! Get your blind ass over here!" I called. The Uchiha walked over here, a confused look crossing his eyes.

"What is it, Yumi?" he asked.

"Kayla here is going to be in our room 'till our whole mess with Oro is done, and I was wondering, can you two share a bed so almost everyone gets a bed?"

He shrugged. "Hn, I guess." Then he walked off. I looked at the clock, realizing that it was nine. And as if Pein read my mind, he announced that we should get to bed to regain energy, especially Kayla, Kisame, Hidan, and me.

"On top of that, Yumi nor Kayla will not sleep alone," he announced. And of course, Hidan was first to offer to share a bed with me. He walked over and placed his elbow on my head, smiling victoriously.

"Hey Kakuzu, guess who doesn't have to share a bed with your old ass?" he taunted. I looked at him.

"Who _would _want to share a bed with another person of the same sex?" I asked. And, of course, his perverted mind started working.

"You want to do it, then?" he asked, hopes getting up. Sadly, all balloons deflate.

"No, I meant sex as in gender," I corrected. He mumbled a 'damn', walking to my bed. He gave me a 'come hither' look, but I followed of my own will. We both crawled in the small bed, my back to him.

"Good nigh-" he began to mumble.

"Touch my boobs and you're dead," I warned before drifting to sleep.

Another source of heat met mine. My eyes cracked open to see Deidara's form, smirking.

"Touch my boobs or ass or anywhere else, and no one gets babies," I threatened. Both men stiffened.

"Fine, fine," they both mumbled. I was then shifted to face a probably jealous Hidan, an almost repeat of this morning.

_Good night, everyone._

**Please review! I can't stress this enough!**


	6. KAYLA, PUT THE POISON DOWN!

**Oh, hey, you waited for me! I hope...**

**Anyways, my left pinkie hurts like hell... and it sucks. And my dog is annoying me and harrassing me...**

**Disclaimer: **FUCK YOU, LAWYERS!

**Enjoy :)**

I awoke when someone behind me left, leaving my back exposed (other than my shirt). My eyes cracked open, seeing Hidan's sleeping face. One arm around my waist, and the other looped under the curve of me neck. He let out slow breaths.

_He looks so peaceful..._ I thought.

_**Nine and a half hours ago**_

_Hidan's POV_

I had turned Yumi (who, let's not forget to mention, fucking kicked me in the dick multiple times) to face me, a wave of anger radiating through my body. She had mumbled a warning before drifting to sleep.

Her strawberry blond hair fell in front of her eyes, which I gently pushed back behind her ear, looking at her pale face, light freckles dotting her cheeks and bridge of her nose. Her muscles relaxed, and I felt her heat come closer to my body. Heat spread through my face.

_What the fuck? Why am I blushing when this bitch gets closer to me?_

**You love her, admit it.** My damn concious was nagging at me again. Shit.

_**That same time**_

_Kayla's POV_

I crawled in bed with Itachi, my back to him. My face was heated, and I swore, knowing full well I was blushing. My blond hair was tied back in a pony tail to keep it from tangling. Why am I narrorating this? No clue. Ask the author. I curled up an a position, where I was in the fetal position, where it makes me comfortable. Reason, I don't know.

_**Present time**_

_Yumi's POV_

Hidan's eyes moved, and he purple hues opened, awake.

_FLASH_

A light flashed, making me wince from how fast my pupils had to adapt to the lighting.

"Mother fuckers!" Hidan shouted, enraged.

"_Yumi Tarizu, we need you in the office_," the secretary, Izumo, said on the PA system set in our ceiling, right above the TV. Sighing, I got up and placed slippers on my feet, preferably the Ninja Bunnies of Doom and Pain. I walked out, jogging down the stairs, through the halls, and walked into the office. Kotetsu greeted me, sliding a small envelope of money towards me.

"My allowance?" I presumed. He nodded, smiling.

"Yeah. This time it's way more, figuring that you'd want to make some changes because of your new room mates." I peaked in it, my mouth forming an egg-shaped 'O' and I blinked, successfully looking like a fish. Oh damn, if I said that aloud near Kisame, he'd freak. I then groaned, it was Sunday.

_But! _It was almost summer! Only six more weeks left!

I stuffed the envolope in my pocket, heading back to my dorm. I walked then opened the door, seeing Kayla asleep (still) and everyone else in a circle. I decided to keep my allowance a secret for now, because I'm going to buy them all presents because I wanted to. Now I just need a car...

"Yo Deidara, get your blond ass over here!" I called. The male strode over to me, looking at me with a questioning look. "Do you have a car?" He shook his head. "Does anyone own a car, and have a legal liscense?" He pointed to Hidan. I nodded.

"Why, hm?" he asked. I held up the envelope, stuffing it back in my pocket. I still got confused looks. And Kayla finally emerged from the bed, looking well rested. It's... _alive!_

"Money plus stores equals..." I began. Kakuzu looked pained. Same ol' Kakuzu, eh?

Silence. I delivered a palm to my face. "Itachi, please, tell me you understand where this is going."

No luck. "For a smart person, you're a fucking idiot. Well, where I was going is... jus come on. Hidan and Deidara and Kayla, come." There were snickers among the group. I glared at them. "What now?"

"You're going in public with no shoes, a long shirt, and with matted hair?" Kisame asked. I looked at myself, and was about to nod, when Kayla gripped me firmly by the sleeve and dragged me into the bathroom.

"Gah! Help! Pein! Itachi! Hidan! Somebody...!" I pleaded before the door shut. I turned to Kayla, who rumaged through the cabinets and got out a case of poison- er, I mean makeup.

Eyeshadow, mascarra, eyeliner (can't stand that stuff), foundation, blush, lipgloss, lipstick, nail polish, nail files, combs, brushes, blush brushes, blush, scissors (which concerned me a bit), a giant mirror, Scrunchi's, hair clips, bobby pins, floss, and... what the hell is _that!_ Oh God... not the hair curler! No!

Then, here's the scarier part, she litterally _tied_ me to chair and forced me to look at a mirror.

"Listen Yumi, I may not know much, but I know for a fact that Hidan likes you, maybe even _loves_ you. And Deidara might, I don't know. But, if you have any chance, you have to at least look like a girl," she mumbled. I made a face.

"If what you say is true, then wouldn't they have just ignored my ass if they wanted me to look like a girl?" I asked. She contemplated this for a moment and shrugged.

"If they don't like it, just wash it off. None of it's waterproof." Why does this sound scary?

"Um... shouldn't I have a say in what's put on my face...?" I squeaked. She laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, yeah." I picked out light, light blue eyeshadow, black sapphire mascarra (to make my blue hues more noticeable), white and black nail polish, and, I whipped out my secret weapon. If you're thinking my own concoction of Axe for girls, you're correct!

Okay, so the base of it is a mixture of perfumes in an empty Axe can that has been sanitized and washed. To get the smell out of it.

It really was made of three to four scents. This particular one had some rose, vanilla, brown sugar, and calming water. Kayla smiled a Kakuzu Smile- one of the scariest smiles anyone would ever see.

She popped the lid off and added a bit of water to it, probably to lighten the scent. After, she closed it, shook it up, and set it to the side. Then she set to work on my face, grabbing everything in sight. I closed my eyes when told, I blinked when told (for the mascarra) and stayed still. I hated makeup. Only time I wore it was lip balm, Chapstick, that sort of thing.

_Third Person POV_

Hidan gently moved one of the ceiling panels, peering into the room where the two girls were doing something. He glanced at the mirrors, seeing a strawberry blond, blue-gray eyed girl, looking like she was going through complete torture. A thin layer of blue powder spread on her upper eyelids, dark, dark blue mascarra volumizing and darkening her eyelashes. Everytime she blinked, or shut her eyes for Kayla, her friend with wavy blond hair and blue eyes- the color resembling those of Deidara's, would take up the opportunity to apply more mascarra or eyeshadow. The two were bickering, the one with makeup- Yumi- saying she had enough on, and Kayla, saying a little more.

"Kayla, I think this is sufficient," she said, getting impatient. Kayla laughed.

"Bull shit! If you want him to express what he feels, you must look beautiful!" the blond said.

_Who's the guy Kayla mentioned?_ the Jashinist wondered.

_Yumi's POV_

Kayla finally ended, placing everything back into her box of torture. Then, I gave her a 'ಠ_ಠ' look. She smiled, escaped the bathroom for a moment, shutting the door right behind her. A few minutes later, she came back in with the scariest thing ever.

Skinny jeans, pink high heels, bracelets of sorts, a low cut shirt, and a change of undergarments. I had retreated to the corner under the sink, trying to make myself smaller and hide from the girliness. Noooooooo!

**Please review, or may Yumi have mercy on your soul. :3**

**'Tank woo, come again! :D**


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